today i added music...plus two posts in a row

see, i'm really trying here folks...

anyway, i would really say that listening to any of these fine albums would be a darn good idea. music has a funny way of making people connect, making people feel, and making their toes taps and their rears shake. usually, when talking about playing music, or even just listening, i'm very mean and continually talk about how much i really dislike all of it. it's just one of my things. you may not know this, but i'm generally a glass half empty type (yes, me, superfriends, it's true) but in the spirit of trying to be more "sunny" i'm going to share this with you. it's two sides of the coin, and something i wrote a couple of semesters back. the writing wasn't there yet, but the idea was, and i hope you'll follow along.

this is in the spirit of music, and mostly, what it does...

I hate the fact that I ever picked up a guitar. It’s true that music was a part of my life before I started to learn the guitar, but when I learned how to play that instrument is when my life turned to shit. I want to be a rock star, I want people to listen to what I write and want to be a part of it. But alas, I have found that no one cares what I do, or what I write. Music for me is something that I can’t help but write, I can’t help but make songs that let everyone know how I feel and what I think about things. I’ve let being in a band define who I am. If I am not singing or playing guitar in front of people I feel that I am cheating myself out of the whole experience of being mostly real. Music makes me feel alive and I hate that.
This town is so competitive and if you want to make it you have to step on everyone. No one cares what kinds of friendships you have made and no one cares if you have talent. It’s all about the look. It’s all about the sound. You have to sell yourself and I hate that. This is the music scene in Reno, Nevada. Which, incidently, is entirely depressing in its own right.
I hate the fact that I want this so bad

good lord, i'm kind of whiny...stick with me though...

I love the fact that I ever picked up a guitar. It’s true that music was a part of my life before I started to learn the guitar, but when I learned how to play that instrument is when my life really took off. I may never be a rock star, but I know that I love what I write, and love how I use the instrument to make myself feel better, how I can use it to work through problems, and how I can use it to change me. It doesn’t matter if anyone else cares, I do. Music, for me, is something that I can’t help but write, I can’t help but make songs that make me feel something, that make me happy. It is amazing. I love that I can play my songs for people, that I can walk onto a stage and entertain. Music makes me feel alive, and I love that.
Regardless of where I live, or who is in my life, making me both happy and sad, I will always have music. It is something that lives inside of me, and I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter if I have the look or the sound. I have what I need and the ability to create it. This is the music scene for me.
I love that I want this so bad.

so, there's that. just something i was thinking about a little while ago, and this post sparked it again. but it does pose an interesting thought...what in your life, dear readers, what in your life can make you love and hate at the same time? what produces the kind of visceral feeling that drives you both mad with love and nutty with anger? just one of those weird thoughts i get, specially when listening to music. thanks for sticking it out, talk to you tomorrow.