Tuesday, June 19, 2007

today i added music...plus two posts in a row

see, i'm really trying here folks...

anyway, i would really say that listening to any of these fine albums would be a darn good idea. music has a funny way of making people connect, making people feel, and making their toes taps and their rears shake. usually, when talking about playing music, or even just listening, i'm very mean and continually talk about how much i really dislike all of it. it's just one of my things. you may not know this, but i'm generally a glass half empty type (yes, me, superfriends, it's true) but in the spirit of trying to be more "sunny" i'm going to share this with you. it's two sides of the coin, and something i wrote a couple of semesters back. the writing wasn't there yet, but the idea was, and i hope you'll follow along.

this is in the spirit of music, and mostly, what it does...

I hate the fact that I ever picked up a guitar. It’s true that music was a part of my life before I started to learn the guitar, but when I learned how to play that instrument is when my life turned to shit. I want to be a rock star, I want people to listen to what I write and want to be a part of it. But alas, I have found that no one cares what I do, or what I write. Music for me is something that I can’t help but write, I can’t help but make songs that let everyone know how I feel and what I think about things. I’ve let being in a band define who I am. If I am not singing or playing guitar in front of people I feel that I am cheating myself out of the whole experience of being mostly real. Music makes me feel alive and I hate that.
This town is so competitive and if you want to make it you have to step on everyone. No one cares what kinds of friendships you have made and no one cares if you have talent. It’s all about the look. It’s all about the sound. You have to sell yourself and I hate that. This is the music scene in Reno, Nevada. Which, incidently, is entirely depressing in its own right.
I hate the fact that I want this so bad

good lord, i'm kind of whiny...stick with me though...

I love the fact that I ever picked up a guitar. It’s true that music was a part of my life before I started to learn the guitar, but when I learned how to play that instrument is when my life really took off. I may never be a rock star, but I know that I love what I write, and love how I use the instrument to make myself feel better, how I can use it to work through problems, and how I can use it to change me. It doesn’t matter if anyone else cares, I do. Music, for me, is something that I can’t help but write, I can’t help but make songs that make me feel something, that make me happy. It is amazing. I love that I can play my songs for people, that I can walk onto a stage and entertain. Music makes me feel alive, and I love that.
Regardless of where I live, or who is in my life, making me both happy and sad, I will always have music. It is something that lives inside of me, and I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter if I have the look or the sound. I have what I need and the ability to create it. This is the music scene for me.
I love that I want this so bad.

so, there's that. just something i was thinking about a little while ago, and this post sparked it again. but it does pose an interesting thought...what in your life, dear readers, what in your life can make you love and hate at the same time? what produces the kind of visceral feeling that drives you both mad with love and nutty with anger? just one of those weird thoughts i get, specially when listening to music. thanks for sticking it out, talk to you tomorrow.

i totally love shameless promoting of cool stuff...and of course you realize this means eventually i should be plugged in something

i just found out i could do cool things with my blog...which may surprise you considering that i really haven't done anything with my blog lately. still. coolness abounds. i've just realized how to add cool little corporate amazon gems to my little blog and i plan on showing you what i'm reading, listening, watching, and othering. this means you'll get to see what is currently influencing my random thoughts (thoughts that, although rather infrequent will increase like, a billion-fold just as soon as i actually move across the country...on a side note, it's mostly that i have little to write about and virtually no time to do it (summer school...turns out graduating is hard), but that is no excuse and i am definately going to make it up to the, i'm guessing four, people who read this. but back to the matter at hand.)

right? right.

anyway, i'm starting with books today, followed by music tomorrow, and then dvds after that, and then a surprise one. i'm really going to try to stick with this, this meaning the everyday posting or adding of new content. Which is mostly due to witnessing what my old man is doing with his little spot in cyberspace, and quite frankly i'm jealous. (the man has fans, which i find awesome, but also, and being the son, i want to have more. it's the competitive thing, i suppose. mostly it just irks me so.)

so there, happy father's day, dad, you days are numbered.

incidently i'm not sure how this post turned into me calling out my very nice, wise, and grey old man. hmm. i can tell you, however, that i do know the old man is rooting for me. (and i him, seriously, he's better at this because he's a better writer than i am. and his blog does have a coherent theme (but only for so long, my random mostly sometimes posts will be much more connected and consistent in about seven weeks.) for now though, i'll just be content with being young and better looking.

anyway, i've missed you guys and would love to tell you that i'm back with a vengeance...but i know that may be a little much. calling out of the father notwithstanding, i'm mostly just back with a haircut. But i plan on really getting this thing up and running, especially with the tag i've just recieved from one of my favorites...You know who you are...and i plan on knocking that one out of the park. also, i realize that i've saved the universe a couple of times, but haven't destroyed it...so look out for that, it's going to be fun. don't worry though, i'll always come back and save it too.

so there, i'm adding stuff, and throwing gauntlets, and getting tagged. this is actually going to be a lot of fun. summer is finally here, let's do something worthwhile huh?

Monday, June 4, 2007

things that make me want to save the universe...

Top Gun

I don’t remember the first time I saw the movie Top Gun, but I know the near seven million times I’ve seen it since have impacted my life. For those of you unaware of the movie, (i'm not sure how, but i since i haven't seen Casablanca, or It's A Wonderful Life, who am i to judge?) it is an action movie based around navy fighter pilots who go to flight school and fall in love with their hot lady instructor. I remember being captivated at a very young age with the best jet ever created, period. The F-14 Tomcat is by far the best thing that military intelligence has ever spent billions of dollars on. I would take the cushions off the couch and put on my flight jacket and pretend that I was Maverick, the lead character in the movie. It sparked my imagination and ignited my childhood obsession with jets. Even after i developed a pretty enormous fear of flying, i still wanted to take the highway into the danger zone.

As I grew older and still watched the movie, I also realized that the film showed me a lot of my firsts. Such as, my first onscreen kiss, (which I couldn’t look at straight on until I was about eleven, come on, you could see their tongues and everything!) my first death of a character I cared about, and my first envy for someone’s life. I know that it was a silly blockbuster movie, but I really loved it. I tried to model how I acted after how Tom Cruise portrayed Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, and still love the aviator/ bomber jacket look. It’s just classic cool.

The movie was kind of my childhood, and even though Cruise may now be fit for the loony bin, I still think of him as that cool pilot. It’s weird, but I guess I’m okay with it. This movie just showed me so many adult things that I wanted to be a part of. And since it was such a silly movie, (see every scene Val Kilmer is in. i mean really, who clicks their teeth as a threat?) it worked out, it worked for my childhood and adult self. These were adult themes on a grade-school level. Falling in love, singing in bars, losing your best friend, saving the day. This is what I wanted my life to be like when I grew up.

I bought the special edition version of the film when it came out and still think it’s a classic, though now, as an "adult" i can see how silly the film is. Still there is no denying how much I love the movie. I think my mom still has my bomber jacket. Maybe it’s time to get a new one.